Husbands, we have to take the lead through what may be best described as servant leadership. We lead our wife by example. We lead by suffering for her sake. We show her what it means to take up her cross by taking up our own cross.
Sanctification is as much a part of the gospel as forgiveness. What does that mean for marriage? It means marriage, which is modeled after the gospel, is more than two sinners perpetually forgiving one another. A husband and wife are also in the business of sanctifying one another.
Before God, our shame is removed only by the intentional, willing, and grace-motivated act of forgiveness through Jesus Christ. Before our spouse, our shame is removed only by his or her intentional, willing, and grace-motivated forgiveness.
We can’t keep the marriage covenant without God. We can’t keep the marriage covenant without grace.
By submitting to one another, we refuse to let any distinction come between us. We are embracing our identity in Christ who saved one person exactly as he saved the next: by his grace alone.